Marriage Counseling

Problems in a marriage or relationship can be caused by a variety of factors, including misunderstandings, sex, anger, and even illness. Marriage counseling and other forms of couples therapy is sometimes sought out by partners to work through difficulties in communicating and resolve issues. Read up on marriage therapy to learn more.

What is Marriage Counseling and How Does it Work?

Your partner comes home for work and walks straight into the bedroom and doesn’t say a word. Or maybe they decide to go to a friend’s house after work or shopping. You haven’t talked in weeks. Arguments are normal, but ignoring and no communication is not. You know your relationship is not strong right now and you both can see it. You know you should fix the issues but aren’t sure where to get started- or if you really want to.

Marriage counseling for couples might help. Marriage counseling can be useful in mending communication and trust issues. Or maybe it will confirm the damage is not repairable and you need to go your separate ways. Whatever the case may be, marriage counseling helps improve communication and understanding between partners.

What Defines Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling, which is also known as couples therapy, helps couples, whether they are married or not, understand and solve their problems and make their relationship better. Couples who go to marriage counseling learn how to talk to each other better, work out their differences, solve problems, and even fight in a healthier way.

Marriage and family therapists are usually the ones who help people with marriage counseling. These therapists do the same kinds of mental health work as other therapists, but they focus on the relationship between two people. Most marriage counseling lasts only a few sessions. You might only need a few sessions to get through a tough time. Or you may need several months of marriage counseling, especially if your relationship has gotten much worse. A marriage counselor usually sees you once a week, just like with individual therapy.

Who Benefits from Marriage Counseling?

Most marriages and other relationships are not perfect. In a relationship, each person brings their own ideas, values, opinions, and personal history, which don’t always match up with their partner’s. Even though you are different, that doesn’t mean you will always fight- differences can be helpful. You’ve probably heard the saying “opposites attract.” People can also learn to understand, respect, and accept different ideas and cultures by looking at how they are different.

But tests can happen in relationships. Differences or habits that you used to find cute may start to annoy you after a while. Problems in a relationship can be caused by things like an extramarital affair or a loss of sexual attraction. Sometimes communication and caring fall apart slowly over time. Distress in a relationship, no matter what caused it, can cause extra stress, tension, sadness, worry, fear, and other problems. You might hope that the problems in your relationships will go away on their own. But if a bad relationship is left to fester, it may get worse and cause health or mental problems like depression. A bad relationship can also cause trouble at work, with other family members, or even with friends, who feel like they have to choose sides.

The following are typical problems that marriage counseling can aid you and your partner in resolving:

· Finances

· Substance abuse

· Infidelity

· Physical or mental illness

· Cultural issues

· Blending families

· Infertility

· Unemployment or retirement

· Child rearing conflicts

· Communication

· Sexual difficulties

How does Marriage Counseling Work?

Best practice is for couples or partners go to therapy sessions together as part of marriage counseling. The counselor or therapist helps the couple figure out where their problems come from and how to solve them. You and your partner will talk about the good and bad parts of your relationship.

Marriage counseling can teach you skills that will help you and your partner stay together. Some of these skills are being able to talk openly, work together to solve problems, and talk about differences in a logical way. In some situations, like mental illness or drug abuse, your marriage counselor may work with your other health care providers to give you a full range of care.

It might not be easy to talk to a marriage counselor about your problems. You and your partner may be so angry at each other that you can’t talk during sessions. Or you might bring your fights with you and yell and argue during sessions. Each is fine. Your therapist can help you deal with the feelings and turmoil by acting as a mediator or referee. Your marriage counselor shouldn’t take a side in these fights.

How to Gain the Most from Marriage Counseling

If you and your partner are thinking about going to marriage counseling, these tips will help you get the most out of your time, effort, and money!

Acknowledge an issue exists: Believe it or not, it’s not unusual for one partner to say there is not a problem. Or the partner might say something like, “Well, if he’s upset about…then it’s his problem.” If your partner has a problem that affects your relationship, it’s your problem because it’s a problem of the marriage.

Acknowledge how you may contribute to the problem: It’s helpful to view marriage as a balancing act between two partners. The two parties can’t help but interact and impact each other’s lives. When something is done to affect the marriage, it’s normal for one or both to react. It’s very rare that one person is completely responsible for all the problems in a marriage.

Be willing to make changes: Being both eager and able to make changes in your behavior toward one another for the benefit of the marriage will get you far in therapy. Both parties must feel the marriage is worth saving and be willing to compromise and make changes.

Be patient: The role of a marriage counselor is to guide, explore and educate the couple on the aspects of a health relationship. They are not miracle workers and can not fix years of marriage issues with a quick word of advice or within a session or even two. It takes time to learn the behaviors of each person in the marriage. How long it takes for marriage counseling to yield results depends on a variety of variables, including the difficulty of the issues at hand, the length of time the couple has been unhappy, and their openness to trying something new. The time, energy, and money put into it can be irritating and distressing for some people. That makes perfect sense. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you and your partner need to rebuild a stable relationship foundation. Don’t forget that this is a decision with long-term consequences.

Counseling for couples in a marriage can involve a variety of things, depending on the individuals involved. Although many wait until their relationship problems are intolerable before getting help, doing so may be to everyone’s benefit. A stronger connection and a greater sense of closeness can be achieved through improved communication, conflict resolution skills, and emotional intimacy. The truth is that no married couple ever has it easy. Marriage counseling can be a useful tool for helping couples who feel they may be experiencing difficulties in their relationship.